I will continue to care until I find something that clicks and something that sticks

11 Jan


Changing my eating

Blah blah blah.

Same thing, different day.

Should I even write about this?  Does anyone care?

Do I care?

Yes, I do care. I actually care deeply.

And I will continue to care until I find something that sticks and something that clicks.

I want to weigh 120 pounds.  Maybe that sounds unreasonable or crazy or arbitrary and maybe it is. But it’s what I want. And I can see it. It’s almost tangible. I want to weigh less to look good. There I said it. I’m vain. Maybe. I want to wear whatever I want and not see a muffin top or a double chin.

More than vanity, I want to be healthy. I know that people can be healthy at a variety of weights, but I know that I am not healthy or happy where I am now. I hate it. I hate going out, I hate how I look and I hate how I feel. And I’m doing something about it.

I don’t see myself as a dieting failure or success story, because I’m usually not dieting any more than the average woman diets.  I’ve done weight watchers and sort of lowish carb, but really, I have never committed fully to any diet plan.  And I’m still not going to.

Doesn’t mean that I have to sit by passively and do nothing though.  I made a commitment to myself that I would eat out once per week (instead of a few times).  It’s funny how eating out creeps up on you.  As a rule, my family eats at home Sunday to Thursday.  And as a rule I bring lunch and breakfast from home.  I have noticed though that more often than not, I end up grabbing things out and about. A Starbucks, dinner on Tuesday because it’s a dance night, What a Bagel on the weekends.  It adds up calorie wise and it adds up in money too.

I looked at my credit card bill and noted that a good majority of my purchases were for take out or a restaurant of some kind.  And I don’t even consider myself a big “eater outer” on the grand scheme of things, but I was spending around $100 to $200 a WEEK on food that didn’t come from my fridge or cupboards, on a regular basis.

If I can cut that out, I can not only be healthier, but I can save a LOT of money.  If I cut $500 of eating out food out of my monthly budget, at the end of the year, I will have saved $6000.  SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS.  That’s a nice vacation. Or a lot of clothes. Or purses. That’s great savings.

This week was my test week.  And I did it!  From Thursday January 3rd to Thursday January 10th, I haven’t eaten out once.  I haven’t even gotten a tea from Tim Hortons.

My meals aren’t Pinterest inspired, yesterday we had grilled chicken with salad and edamame, but they are made by me, in my home.  The kids and my husband are having delicious lunches made by me.

Another thing I am doing is writing down what I eat. I’m not tracking calories or points or carbs or anything, I’m just writing down what I eat. When you write it down, you see it there in black and white, what you’re eating, how much or how little you’re eating and can make adjustments as necessary.  I want to eat 7-10 fruits and vegetable servings a day.  This shows me when I do it or don’t do it and where I can make up the difference.

Also, I’m eating the same foods.  My breakfasts and lunches are pretty standard meals.  I’ve had oatmeal every day.  I love it, it’s healthy, and it’s easy, so it makes sense to make that my go to breakfast. No thought required, save for making sure I have oatmeal in the home.

My scale still sucks, so I haven’t a clue how much I’ve gained or lost or what, but I do know that I feel better and that a pair of my pants is a little looser.  🙂

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