Tag Archives: playdates

But you just seem so normal!

13 Aug

Fair warning – this post is equal parts ranting, judging, whining and pontificating. I even swear.  Enter at your own risk.

Remember when Joaquin Phoenix was doing that “documentary” movie about becoming a rapper and no one knew exactly what to think?  He went on Letterman and people were all “what the heck” and after it was revealed to be hoax people laughed and were like “typical” and smiled indulgently?

I feel like Joaquin a lot of the time.

On the outside, I look relatively “normal”.

On the inside, I get the sense that people think of me, more specifically my parenting, as an odd anomaly that is best smiled at and overlooked due to my relative normality in other aspects.

Case in point:

A friend was over and somehow Alicia Silverstone came up in conversation.  There was a video a few weeks back of Alicia feeding her kid chewed food from her mouth.  I don’t know about anyone here, but I don’t know enough about this practice to label it “good” or “bad” but anyone who hasn’t worried about their kid choking and grabbed food, chewed it up, and then handed it to their kid is lying.

So we then get to talking about Mayim Bialik’s new book which said friend says is because “sleeping with your kid is falling out of favour”.  I reminded friend that that’s what we did and I got it.  THE LOOK.  And the “oh Jenn”.

I interpret the “oh Jenn” and THE LOOK, both which I have experienced many, many, many times from many, many, many different people to mean “you seem normal, so we’ll forgive you this odd eccentricity”.

The funny thing is, I don’t particularly consider co-sleeping to be eccentric.  I consider it normal.  Moreover, I consider it the right thing to do.  Oh, I get it, some people can’t due to various reasons, but there are degrees to co-sleeping, going from side by side, to side car sleepers, to crib beside bed, to crib in room, etc.  Eventually, people sleep in their own beds.

Co-sleeping wasn’t something that I set out doing, it was something I fell into.

I had every intention to be the most “normal” parent who ever existed.  Then Alex was born and I wasn’t much interested in what was “normal” and a lot more interested in what was “right”.

I research the crap out of my decisions.  When all those “co-sleeping is unsafe” advertisements came out, I renewed my research vigor and was completely satisfied with both my research and the safety.  These crib people really are biased let me tell you.  😉

I get why conventional wisdom is so popular and prevalent.  It’s NORMAL after all.

What I don’t get is why people who think I’m otherwise intelligent and well read, think I’m a fucking idiot or “crazy hippie” when it comes to parenting.

If I had a dollar for the amount of times someone has said “you totally don’t seem like someone who would breastfeed that long” to me, I would have somewhere between 20 and 50 dollars. 😉

The thing I hate the most?  When people make comments about my breastfeeding or co-sleeping or anything, and when those comments are uneducated, and borderline rude – I say almost nothing.  I FUCKING hate that I let people say dumb shit to me and I do the indulgent smile right back.  UGH.

I am well researched and confident in my decisions,why do I become a bumbling idiot when it comes to defending my position.

As my kids get older, it doesn’t get any easier. The argument turns from breastfeeding and co sleeping, to homework and playdates, dating and alcohol.


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