Tag Archives: Time Off

Jenn’s week on – Part 3

13 Dec

Monday November 19th, 2012

I signed up for yoga yesterday.

One of the yoga studios in my community has a special for new members where you pay $40 for the month and get unlimited classes. After that you can pay per class, buy a 5, 10 or 20 pass or pay $100/month unlimited on a four month cycle.

Yoga has been something that I have wanted to do for a long time now. I have always enjoyed stretching and been a flexible person and I feel that coupled with the meditative aspects, this could be a good fit for me, wellness wise.

This week, I signed up for 3 classes.  I also have doctor’s appointments, a massage, and a home visit from my chiropractor.

I am stuck in that place of wanting to do something to get better, but not to do anything at all and just relax and rest.

I made a to do list, but I am flexible with it. Save for appointments, I am trying to chill this week and not feel like I have to do anything specific at any specific time.

Last night, I meditated before bed, following my breathing for about 5 minutes. I almost wrote that five minutes is nothing, but five minutes is five minutes more than nothing and I am proud of those five minutes.

The skies are grey today, but I am feeling like the sun should peak out soon.

To read all of the posts in Jenn’s Week On, click here!

 

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Jenn’s week on – Part 2

12 Dec

Read all of the posts in Jenn’s Week On.

Sunday November 18th, 2012

Last night was hard. Today seems even more difficult.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I watched the Dark Knight Rises with my family and everyone but me fell asleep. I’m not a Batman fan.

My family went to  bed and I stalked through the house, trying to stop my mind from wandering. I watched another movie, Ever After, a sweet Cinderella love story with no real thought required.

I had a horrible panic attack, where I was gasping for breath. My fear was so intense. The time ticked away until I fell into a fitful sleep, waking soon after with my kids needing me. I fell asleep in my daughter’s bed.

I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I wanted to stay in bed all day.  Dave asked me to go out for coffee, saying that getting up and out might help. I didn’t believe him until it sort of worked.

I just want to be better.

Now.

Stay tuned for Part 3!

Jenn’s week on – Part 1

11 Dec
Great holiday magazine deals at ValueMags all month.

 

 

This is the first post of a several part series about a very short sick leave that I was on, how it came about, and how I am doing now (much better).

I am calling it “Jenn’s week on” rather than “Jenn’s week off”, because it’s hard to turn off life, and this week was about going through my life more mindfully and getting better.

I will be posting a new installment every few days.

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Saturday November 17th, 2012

Wednesday was not a good day.

When I look back, I can see that the monster was brewing for a while. I was able to stave off the panic and the sadness with new meds and exercise and trying to soldier through. Until I just couldn’t.

I was at work on Wednesday and I had extreme abdominal pain.  My period was sort of there – light pink and not heavy at all – but the pain was not typical at all. I felt sick and nauseous and was sweating.

Wednesday night the pain in my stomach had not abated. I phoned telehealth and they told me to go to the hospital so I did. I had blood tests and urine tests. An internal exam and a transvaginal ultrasound.  Fun times. :/

Everything came back normal.

I had the sensation, not for the first time, of almost wishing that something would be wrong so it wasn’t “just” anxiety.

My blood pressure was high though. Higher than normal.

Maybe it’s stress, the doctor said.

Yeah. I know.

The next day, I went to see my doctor. She took one look at me, I couldn’t hold it together and I just let everything out.

Is there a trigger? she asked.

I don’t think so.

That’s what makes this whole thing suck.

My doctor gave me a note to take Friday and next week off from work due to panic attacks and my blood pressure and to work on getting better.

I dropped the note off at work and my bosses were very understanding even though I felt like sick. Like a failure. Like I was letting people down.

I do know though that if I don’t get better, the person I will let down will be me.

This next week will be about focusing on my health and getting better.

For part 2, click here.

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